I’ve spent years channeling my obsessive manic traits into healthy and productive outlets. I’d much rather be sleeping 4 hours a night right now and waking up sore and busted to train before the sun is up than getting 8 restless hours trapped in my house and that anathema to my spirit, being well rested. I don’t do this because I’m a normal person.
There are a lot of us on the mats, doing the sort of training we do, who have their demons and their struggles. Sure there are plenty of regular folk interested in self defense, a good workout, and camaraderie. I’m lucky to count them as friends. But it’s also a place for the misfits, the struggling, the ones who feel a constant fire that needs managed. I’m one of those. I can’t stop moving, not for long, and it didn’t take long into sitting still before I found myself short tempered, aggravated, and a creeping anxiety coming over me.
I don’t know how long this will last. But I will not be sitting still. I’ll be taking advantage of this opportunity. I’ll be lifting more and making sure I follow my PT from previous injuries to get my body in condition to function as best it can. I’ll be stronger, leaner, and more flexible when this is over. I’ll dry fire practice more often and return to mock stage set ups and practical shooting exercises. I’ll learn to better leverage technology to connect with friends. Using communication tools I will work on my presentation skills in digital medium and prerecorded video. I will improve my mastery of the written word. I’ll be honing my craft.
I’m going to be better after this over. I wont be sitting still. My path may be obstructed but I am not. Antifragile, stronger through adversity. I’ll see you on the other side.