Its 5AM and my alarm is going off. I don’t feel particularly inspired. I don’t feel motivated. In fact I feel sore as fuck from last nights training. If I “listened to my body” I’d lay back down. If I listen to my mind I’d take a rest day. It would be reasonable, rational. It’s hard to get out of bed. That little voice in my head is pretty loud right now with YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS. Its true, I don’t have to. YOU NEED MORE SLEEP, yeah that’s prob true too. I’ve splashed some cold water on my face, brushed my teeth, and grabbed the tea and honey I prepared last night from the fridge. I’ve gripped the hand rail and slowly gotten down the stairs. I look at my phone and its 5:07. I wasted too much time fighting this I think, I can get down here faster, I can get out of bed faster, I look at the squat rack and it’s time to start warming up.
Someone once asked Somerset Maughham if he wrote on a schedule or only when struck by inspiration. “I write only when inspiration strikes,” he replied. “Fortunately it strikes every morning at nine o’clock sharp.”
― Steven Pressfield
, The War of Art
A year from now it wont matter how motivated I felt this morning in regards to how strong I am. It wont matter if I had a good day or a bad day on the mats. It wont matter if I felt like going to the range or not. Its only going to matter if I did the work, and I did the math on this long ago and committed to it. The long term reward is of greater value to me than the short term desire.
That’s not to say I don’t enjoy what I do. I very much do. I have good days. I have days I can’t wait to get at it, I have days where everything clicks, where my front sight is always steady on target, where my posture is in perfect alignment, where my techniques are smooth and my pressure is just on tap. If I only trained on those days though, I’d have less of them. Recognizing this truth I commit daily, over and over again, to investing in myself over the long term.
There are plenty of blog posts and articles about how motivation is bullshit, about THE GRIND, about the need for perseverance and grit. They are all true. I’m not writing anything new here. I’m just saying it again, and again, and again. The alarm will go off again, and I wont want to get out of bed, but I’m going to try to start warming up within 5 minutes next time.